I'm in a lousy mood this morning. I was in a lousy mood last night. I was actually quite angry last night, bothered, aggrevated, annoyed, frustrated, perturbed, disturbed, disappointed... I was in a lousy mood last night.

Here's the thing... this weekend is the Park Avenue Fest, a pretty standard but still rather enjoyable arts and music festival. I want to go. I have no one to go with. I don't want to go by myself. I'm tired of doing things like this by myself. By rights, it should have been my darling Chuckles who would be accompanying me to said festival... but he hasn't bothered to call me back, at all, in 6 weeks. Yes, I'm still counting... what can I say I enjoy nursing a grudge.

Two weeks ago I went out with some friends to the goth club and I met this rather nice young man named Mike. We ended up staying til closing after my other friends had left. He walked me to my car, I drove him to his car, we sat in my car and talked... and talked... and exchanged numbers and hugged goodbye, and the hugging turned into kissing, turned into heavy petting and heavy kissing and tugging at clothing to pulling apart and trying to regain composure... to more talking and realizing that he's an "old school" fruhead from Bargainville and Wood days. He totally understood my travelling hither and thither to see a band and see bands I'd learned of because of said band... and he knew exactly what the Falcon Ridge Folk Festival was and even that it was an extra day this year, knew who Vance Gilbert and Ellis Paul were... all that good stuff. Because we both had full schedules for the next week or so, we agreed that I'd call him after I got back from FRFF. Of course, the whole 2+ hours that we'd been talking I'd left the radio on, so my battery was drained and he had to give me a jump (get your mind outta the gutter!), fortunately I carry jumper cables, but usually I'm giving someone the juice and not the other way around (shut it).

Anyway, fast forward to this Tues night, the night I was supposed to call. After running errands and stuff I came home and dialed the number, and Nextel was apparently very busy because no lines were available. I called 2 or 3 more times and I kept getting an ATT message that the call was not possible at that time. So I called him back Wednesday afternoon... left a message on his voicemail, and here I am waiting... again... for some schmuck to deign to call me back. What the fuck is the matter with these people??? Why can't they get off their asses and call me back??

So needless to say, I'm in a guys suck ass frame of mind right now. There are so many things that I want to do this summer, before summer fades away, and I can't do any of them because I have no one to do them with. I can never get ahold of Chris anymore, everytime I talk to Sam there's some drama or some crisis and gee, how can we possibly have a good time at a festival when he's got to catch me up on which family member has what disease and who's pet died this week??

I want to go to festivals, the fair, wine tasting, Hill Cumorah Pageant, there is a lot to do around here but I don't want to do it alone... and it doesn't help that left right and sideways people I know (even some that I would have figured were the last to go there) are getting engaged or getting married. How'd my scope get so far out of focus? Why is my aim so bad? Why does my judgement suck so? What the hell am I doing wrong, and why is every choice turning out to be the wrong choice?

I'm having a lousy day. So lousy that I'm not even in the mood to recount my FalconRidge weekend, which was actually quite enjoyable... for the most part. Welcome to the dog days of summer... the season of the bitch (v).

DLand Notes, for the DLand In-Crowd

Recap

update - 2004-02-27
Worried... still - 2004-01-24
worried, slightly - 2004-01-23
pathetic entry #221212 - 2004-01-09
Checking In And Stuff - 2003-11-30

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